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Tips For Encouraging Your husband in Spiritual Leadership



All the below suggestions should be done respectfully and sincerely.  My husband has read them & given his approval & input. :)

  1. Encourage and praise his efforts to lead & serve.
  2. Don't criticize his efforts to lead spiritually, even if you feel his efforts are simple or weak.  Seek the Lord to change both him & you. 
  3. Pray for him.
  4. Tell him you are praying for him.
  5. Do not boast about your spiritual achievements or make him feel less than you (spiritual pride).
  6. Repent of spiritual pride.
  7. Are you embarrassed of your husband's spiritual maturity?  Does it reflect poorly on you?  Ask yourself why you want him to grow.  Confess & repent of any ungodly motives. (We all have them)
  8. Get out of the drivers seat, so that he can get in.  Sinfully strong women often create passive husbands who do not lead.
  9. Acknowledge the difficulty he has in  finding time to do Bible study due to his full time working.  Seek to assist him, ask "Is there anything I can do to help?"
  10. With sincerity, ask him questions about the Bible ( even if you feel he has no idea) This is right.  First you are going to your husband, which is right. Second, this will allow him to opportunities to purposefully hit The Book, which is right!
  11. Respectfully encourage and assist him in finding someone to disciple him. (this was one of the BIG ways God allowed me to help my husband)
  12. Don't complain about the time he spends with his discipler.  Be positive about it & help it to happen!
  13. Praise his efforts to the kids.
  14. Teach the kids that Daddy is the head of your home & defer to him often when he is home.
  15. Share your hopes & concerns or him with him at the appropriate time in a loving & respectful way.  Do not nag.
  16. Give your expectations for WHAT his leading should look like to The Lord. Each husband will lead in a different way.  Your husband may not look like your pastor or elders in how they lead.  Daily give your unmet expectations to Christ and leave them there.  They belong at the foot of the cross.
  17. Look for ways he is leading and thank God & him for those ways.
  18. Be humble & teachable. Don't be disagreeable and argumentative about day to day things (this matters: 1 Pet 3:4)
  19. Be an easy person to lead.
  20. Load an MP3 player with sermons to listen to on the way to work and back.
  21. Provide a "place" for him to have his quiet time and study, let him leave his books out day after day and don't chastise him for it.  Praise him for it.
  22. Provide encouraging bathroom reading. Church newsletters, Christian Magazines, booklets, etc
  23. Be patient.  Remember sanctification is progressive. Give him room to be the sinner that he is.
  24. What "little foxes" are in your home?  Netflix? Cable Tv? Secular magazines? Is he ok with pairing down the amount of entertainment available in your home? Sos 2:15 "Catch the foxes for us, The little foxes that are ruining the vineyards, While our vineyards are in blossom."
  25. Do not love him in the way you want to, but rather love him in the way he feels most loved.  What way is that?
  26. Listen to him.
  27. Care for him, about his life, his likes, his worries, his coworkers, his work stories, etc
  28. Be sexually available as much as he needs. (Yes, this matters too!)
Disclaimer:
It is God who will do this work.
It cannot be brought about through a wive's own will, but God, in His graciousness gives a wife the privilege of being a part of it!   (Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.")

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