R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Eph 5:33 says ³³Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to ^(S)love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she ^(T)respects her husband.

phobeō- to be alarmed; by analogy to be in awe of, that is, revere: - be (+ sore) afraid, fear (exceedingly), reverence.

So practically it is an awe and reverence that causes one to follow another. And specifically it is displayed in a wife who admires & esteems her husband so much that her behavior and words convey the esteem she feels in her heart & she joyfully follows his authority.

Now with that definition in mind: Raise your hand if you excel in the area of respecting your husband.

So as you can see by looking around , this is an area where we as women tend to be especially weak and tempted in.

Because we often need to inspired pay attention to this area, we are going to go over a list of practical ways you can show respect to your husbands, and after that I am going to offer some encouragement to those of us who may be struggling in this area.

ABC’s of Respecting Your Husband

Some hints directly from husbands @ church

Written & Compiled by Wendy Petta

1. Admire A man feels respected when his wife gives sincere compliments of admiration both directly to and about him in front of others.

2. Back Your Man A good way to show respect is to back your husband in public and in front of the kids, even if you disagree. Take it up in private if it is something you feel needs to be discussed further.

3. Consult A respectful wife asks her husband his opinion. She runs things by him & gets his advice. She does not live a life independent of her husband.

4. Don’t do the following: Correct, contradict, belittle or criticize. A wife who wants to excel in respect will be very careful how she speaks with her husband in private & in front of other people, especially the children.

5. Encourage Use encouragement rather than scolding or nagging. When a wife encourages her husband rather than scolding & nagging she is honoring Christ. Husbands will actually respond to encouragement. It motivates them to change for the good. Most husbands shrink back from a wife who nags & scolds.

6. FUN! Have fun with him. Laugh at his jokes (even if they are corny!), smile if he embarrasses you & enjoy him.

7. Grateful A husband who feels appreciated for what he does is a happy husband. Tell him how grateful you are that he goes to work every day and provides for his family. Teach your children to show gratitude to daddy as well.

8. Handsome He is handsome isn’t he? Remember the physical qualities that drew you to him in the beginning? Think on these things and tell him you think he is handsome.

9. Instead Invert your fleshly thinking. Instead of waiting for him earn your respect, behave respectfully and watch him grow into the man God designed him to be.
10. Joined Gen 2:24 Remember that God joined you to your husband. Be careful to show preference to your own husband over your family and girl friends.

11. Kisses Stop what you are doing & give him a kiss when he comes home from work. Show him he is important enough for you to wash that raw meat off your hands and greet him with a kiss.

12. Listen Take time to give him your full attention (stop what you are doing) at least once each day. Use ?s that draw him out, like “How was your day today?” “Did anything discouraging happen?” & “How can I specifically be praying for you?”.

13. Meek A respectful wife is a meek wife. She endures offenses with patience & without resentment. She is not overly strong in her opinions & does not insist on her way.

14. Nice A wife should be nicer to her husband than any other person on Earth.

15. Offer Offer to do things during the day to help him. Ask yourself “How am I being a ‘suitable helper’ to my husband today?” Is there anything you can do for him to make his life a little easier?

16. Praise Praise him when you have the opportunity to your family, your friends & to the children. Tell them how blessed they are to have a wonderful daddy like him. Be specific and praise his strengths.

17. Quiet We all know that there are times when the most respectful thing we can do is to simply be quiet. Like times when we want to take charge or perhaps when our husbands are frustrated, have made a mistake, or when you sense the conversation is turning into an argument.

18. Resist Resist the temptation to rub it in when he makes a wrong decision & you had told him so. (see above!)

19. Sex Need I say more?

20. Trust A godly wife trusts the Lord when her husband leads her in a decision that she is completely opposed to, is frightened of, and feels makes no sense at all. She knows God gave her specific husband in all his strengths and weaknesses & trusts that the safest place she can be is under the authority of God & her husband.

21. Understand Understand that your husband is a sinner. He will make mistakes. He will let you down. He will sin against you. Try to understand that this will happen in your marriage, frequently even and then be understanding when he does not do the right thing.

22. Venerate Okay, I admit it I had to look this one up! Venerate means to regard or treat with reverence; revere. To regard with respect, reverence, or heartfelt deference. Deference means respectful submission or yielding to the judgment, opinion, will of another. So a wife who venerates her husband respectfully submits to him. She yields to his judgment from her heart. Wow! What an awesome definition, one that almost perfectly defines how we are to respectfully follow the leadership of our husbands

23. Willing Be willing to go along with his ideas. Even if you think it is not the best idea or decision. As long as he is not asking you to sin or do something dangerous and do it without complaining

24. eXamine When things in the marriage aren’t going well or there is conflict, be willing to look at yourself. Instead of being an eXpert on his sin areas, take a look at how you might have contributed or responded inappropriately.

25. YAY, YAY, YAY! Cheer for his successes. Be genuinely excited when he succeeds and gets the job done well.

26. ZZZ? My husband said to tell you that I could not think of anything for the letter z and that all wives should refer back to the letter S. J

Was that a fun list? I had several husbands here at Calvary contribute to it, so we are hearing straight from the horses mouth on this topic. Don’t tell any of them I reffered to them as horses, because that definitely would not be seen as respectful! Now, if you find this is an area you are failing in, I really want to encourage you. From a wife of 15 years who has often found herself on the list of America’s Most Disrespectful Wives, I want to offer you hope. You can change. If you are a believer remember that the Lord is eagerly waiting for you to come to Him in repentance. He is eager to offer you forgiveness and has power to transform you into a respectful wife from the inside out.

So what should a wife do who finds herself in sin toward her husband when it comes to respecting him? First, go to the Lord in prayer, specifically confess how you have missed the mark and ask Him to change you. And He will. Here are some other things which will be helpful to you:

· Get some accountability in this area. Most of us need it, few of us seek it.

· Remember this most important piece of truth. Your husband is not required to earn your respect. Respect is not something that is earned, it is something rather that is offered out of love to Christ: Martha Peace had this to say in her book “The Excellent Wife”: “you may be smarter, wiser, or more gifted than your husband, you still need to respect the position that God has given him. You are like the soldier who stands at attention, salutes, and says “Yes, sir!” to his superior officer.”

So we see that we are to respect the position God has given our husband. We are not respecting our husbands because they are so perfect and wonderful and worthy. We respect them because God in His wisdom knows this is what we need to do. It is our God given role.

· Respect flows from the heart. If we trace back the behavior of a disrespectful wife, we usually find that it flows from a heart that is unguarded & thoughts that are undisciplined and running wild. A wife that does not want to find herself wandering down the road of disrespect again and again will be careful to make sure she is not entertaining critical & negative thoughts about her husband. Rather, she will regularly choose to dwell on the wonderful qualities he has.

· Now remember how many of us raised our hands in the beginning saying we excelled in this area? Not many. Many of those ladies who did not raise their hands saying “I have graduated. I am officially a respectful wife in every way” have been Christians who have been working at this respect thing for a long time! This is a journey we are on, to grow. Where ever you have measured yourself as a result of today’s talk just remember that the Lord is not demanding you are instantly perfect in respect, He just wants you to take a step. One more step on the road to being more like Him.